Ah keyboard, oh my keyboard!

Now, now. That's no fetish of mine! But my keyboard has been my great partner during all these years of my eating food with it. A bit of info: I eat my food (normally) watching something on my computer, mainly movies. So I finish a 2 hr movie in about 6 days. That's 20 minutes of feeding my keyboard everyday.

And look at it, it's so thin now. :(

So, after about 4 years of feeding and preserving the rarest bacteria and germs underneath those keys, I decided it was time for a bath. And there I was with isopropyl alcohol, a vacuum cleaner, a cotton cloth and a shiny little key-pick(used for picking out keys from their bases). First thing I did was dabbing the cloth in CH3CHOHCH3 and happily putting it on the keys as Highway to Hell played on the Media Player.

Shout. Curse. Mother. I hadn't unplugged the keyboard!

So, I took out the oddly shaped violet plug and put my monitor to sleep.


So, one by one like the scene from Oldboy, off went all the keys. And mind you, you slid the key-pick under them, pushed upward a little and they flew off (I even calculated the trajectory for the backspace key, another day ....). So, you had to be highly careful. And I was. I had "directed" my sister to watch the keys as they flew and bring 'em to me. Two candies and job done!

The first key was the spacebar. Thriving underneath it, was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen. Whole families of Enterococcus faecium, Staphylococcus aureus and Pseudomonas aeruginosa. It was so beautiful! No wonder I had developed a chronic cold.

So, with lots of pain and tears, I gently rubbed those families. There were tears in their eyes. They looked at me, cried, prayed but I couldn't help them. So, out they went into they ruthless stomach of the vacuum cleaner. It was his day. And then organic chemistry took over.

My keyboard looks new. It feels so alien. What would I do without the bacteria? I feel so lost. Where is my dirty old friend? This ultra-clean thing doesn't make any noise. The spacebar works perfect. I never have to use the on-screen keyboard.

I solemnly swear never again to clean my keyboard.